palm

Alam nyo ba na ang Facebook na ang makabagong Discovery Channel? - by sicilia

2011-12-06T19:29:00.000-08:00

Alam nyo ba na ang Facebook na ang makabagong Discovery Channel? Ito ay sa kadahilanang marami kang matutuklasan sa bawat log-in mo sa Mukhang-Eklat este Aklat o Facebook. Sa mga larawan at komento sa Facebook (na kelangan ay nagtatapos sa ellipsis o tatlong tuldok), maaari mong mapagtanto...

1. Kung sino na sa mga dati mong kaklase ang nakatira na sa ibang bansa kasi may pic sila na naka-winter clothes, scarf and ear muffs na ang background ay desyerto (Musta na kayo dyan sa Pinas? Umuulan pa din ba jan pag June? One week na kasi ako dito sa Timbuktu).

2. Na ang kuya mong siga sa kanto ay expert pala sa gay lingo (Nalurkeeeeeei ako dun lola…).

3. Na kaya pala hindi sumipot sa date nyo ang boyfriend mo kagabi ay dahil may reunion sila ng mga barkada nya at ang nag-tag pa ng pic ay ang best friend nyang six years nyang naging girlfriend (How sweet! Muling ibalik ang tamis ng pag-ibig. Abangan ang fight of the century vs. Pacman…)

4. Na kaya pala bad breath buong araw ang classmate mo ay dahil limang malaking hilaw na sibuyas ang almusal nya sa mamahaling resto (My Big Breakfast… Sumptuous, slurp, slurp…)

5. Na si Inday na Prom Queen nung highschool ay isang dakilang single mom. Nadiskubre mo ito kasi hinalungkat mo ang 87 albums nya at ni isa ay walang picture ng tatay ng lima nyang anak na hindi magkakamukha (Kakainggit ka naman Inday, malalaki na ang mga anak mo. Pwede bang akin na lang yung kulot ang buntot?...).

6. Kung ano ang taste ng mga friends mo sa music (The song that inspires me the most… Bawal na Gamot by Willy Garte).

7. Kung ano ang mga organs na makikita mo sa loob ng human body na hinding-hindi mo natandaan sa Anatomy class mo nung BS Nursing ka pa lang (OMG! Ganyan pala ang itsura ng balun-balunan, akala ko manok lang ang meron nyan…).

8. Kung sino sa mga dati mong kasama sa trabaho ang nakarating na sa Bicol, Bohol, Japan, o Smokey Mountain dahil may bundok sa background ang pic nila (Ganda pala talaga sa Payatas noh? Paguwi ko from Antartica, punta rin ako dyan…)

9. Kung sino sa mga ka-batch mo ang mga may asawa’t anak na at titingnan mo kung maganda ang mga anak nila. Tapos maiinggit ka kasi gwapo ang napangasawa ng classmate mong pangit nung high school habang ikaw ay lampas 30 na at NBSB (No boyfriend since birth) (Wala kang comment dito kasi sour graping ka to the maximum level, sabay update ng status, “Alone in the middle of nowhere…”).

10. Kung saang kumpanya nagtatrabaho ang mayabang mong kapitbahay kaya laging kumakain sa Jollibee (Super Senior General Manager and CEO at Manny’s Management Company).

11. Kung sino sa mga kaklase mo ang nagkatuluyan at hindi. Nung nalaman mong hindi si Dado ang napangasawa ni Pokwang, search mo agad ang FB ni Dado para tingnan kung nag-asawa na rin ito ng iba o naging bitter at single for life (I feel sorry for you Dado, so akin ka na lang tutal ikaw naman ang reason kung bakit ko alam na hindi ako totoong boy).

12. Kung sino sa mga kilala mo ang lintek magpilit mag-ingles pero Ampf, WTF, Anak ka ng, gusto mo nang iuntog sa pader at isumbong kay Ms. Briones na super higpit sa grammar para mapahiya ng konti. (How can be ex when you’re not? TRANSLATION: Pano mo magiging ex kung hindi naging kayo?)

13. Na sa 19,789 mong friends, yung 89 lang talaga ang kilala mo at yung 9 lang ang totoo mong kaibigan (kasi sila lang yung laging may comment sa status mo). Yung iba, wapakels lang na gusto mong bentahan ng ice candy (Mura lang girl, thru Paypal ang payment at pag na-receive ko na, voila! Nasa doorstep mo na ang ice candy…)

14. Na may 20 ka palang friends na magkakaparehas ang birthday. Buti na lang at naka-automatic greeting ka kaya kahit hindi mo masyadong berks, nababati mo. Kaso ka-birthday pala nila ang tatay mo at hindi mo s’ya na-greet (Kasi naman walang FB si Puder, azar…)

15. Kung ano ang usong gadget at anung gamit na cellphone ng kaibigan mo (At the mall, thinking what to buy, I-Pad2 or I-Patch? -- sent thru my Black-I-Phone)

16. Kung gaano ka ka-pathetic dahil sinulat mo ang walang kakwenta-kwentang blog na to na punong-puno ng katotohanan at ang wish mo e maraming mag-like at mag-comment (blog ko to pero ako ang unang magla-like at magko-comment para may jumpstart. Parang awa nyo na, para kunyari maraming intersado sa buhay ko…)

17. Na marami ka pang gustong mangyari sa buhay mo at marami ka pang lugar na gustong puntahan. At marami pang salita na gusto mong sabihin at gusto mong may mag-like (O Picture, Picture dali!!! Ayoko ng wacky, sayang ang film ng Nikon DSLR ko…J)..

Pero ang importante, ay madiskubre mo sa sarili mo na hindi sa dami ng larawan o ng komento nasusukat kung tagumpay ka sa buhay o isang mabuting kaibigan. Kundi sa mga bagay na ginagawa at sinasabi mong maganda, pero ikaw lang at ang mga taong naiisip mo bago ka matulog ang nakakaalam (True. Naiyak ako dun. Ang galing mo talaga Cecille…)

ANGEL

2011-10-22T00:53:00.000-07:00

As I walk past the beach that took my life, every scene flashed before my eyes, like witnessing a tragic play for the hundredth time. Each time I watched, I desired to alter how it ends. But no matter how I try, it does in the same way; her lifeless body in my arms, salted by the sea and by my eyes.

Once again I cursed the sand, the waves and the sea. I blamed the sun who abandoned me on the dusk that she left. For in its eyes we were not lovers who depended on each other’s happiness. We were not children who laughed, cried and grew up together. We were not parents who raised two sons. In the eyes of the sun, sea, waves and sand, we were only specks of dust blown by the wind. Impurities that dared conquer the water. Each step we took did not matter, and the laughter and tears did not mean a thing. They just did what they were created for, nurture the beings of water and give warmth to those who are willing to live…
--------

I met her on my tenth birthday. All I wished for was to be able to ride a car, but I never imagined that one would hit me first before I can get inside and that I would meet the love of my life.

I was walking along the side street of San Ignacio to buy a loaf of bread, eggs and a liter of soda for my birthday. Old people believed it unwise to go out on one’s special day so Mother did not want me to. But my brother Joaquin was practically a baby and couldn’t cross the street, so I insisted. I was singing happily, for it was only on special occasions that Joaquin and I get to drink sodas. While swimming in a world of excitement, I didn’t notice a speeding car pass by. All of a sudden, I felt my little body hammered to something very hard, and it felt a lot more intense than my father’s strong hands. Everything swirled around so fast and the last scene my eyes witnessed was the scattering of the one-peso coins that my hands clenched a few moments ago. I woke up in the hospital with the sound of my father’s nagging and my mother’s sobs while they were talking to the new neighbors who accidentally hit me. After almost an hour of pointing fingers and learning that nothing serious happened, the car owners offered to pay the bill, buy the prescription and pay the follow-ups. While they were busy, however, I was staring at a girl my age who sat on the corner, wondering what the four adults were arguing about. She wore a white, lacy dress, a flowery hat and shiny shoes that made her look like one of those big dolls every girl dreams of having. She looked nothing like the girls in my league who have dirty fingernails, uncombed hair, scaly skin and un-brushed teeth. She looked prim and proper, one who cannot run fast or jump high and is not used to shouting or sticking her tongue out when losing a game. She’s like an angel sent from heaven, which I later learned to have another name: Canada. At that moment my eyes were purple and my lips were swollen but all I felt was my heart. I knew then that she was my betrothed.

Only in a rural area can someone who lives in a rat-hole be neighbors to someone who lives in a castle. But kids in the fourth grade did not understand the caste brought about by money, and so we became friends. She spoke English, which I barely speak. It was language being taught everywhere to everyone from four to forty; and one that almost no one ever masters. Living in an exocentric society, only those who can speak the language fluently were considered smart. But I had to teach her my native tongue, Filipino, so that my friends could welcome her. I took pride of being her interpreter for the other kids; though most of the time, even the two of us used hand signs to understand each other. But the girls envied her for her beauty and class and did not want to play house with her. She cried over this, saying she wanted to have friends. She even squawked about buying clothes to match ours, but her mother wouldn’t approve. The boys gave up on being her friends, tired of being shooed by her father. This did not stop me though, from being by her side. I may not have known then what love was, but I’ve always known that I belonged there. Her mother, maybe still guilty of the accident, said neither rude nor kind words whenever I come over to play. I was never allowed inside the house and I always got the disapproving, scrutinizing look from head to toe but it wasn’t a big deal. Nothing else mattered as long as we’re together.

She made me want to change. Once a filthy boy who feared a bath, I made sure I had one before going to her house. Somehow, I felt humiliated every time her mother covers her nose. I brushed my teeth everyday and had my nails cut. Mother was so happy that she didn’t have to drag me into doing those things so she didn’t bother to wonder and ask.
Apart from living in different worlds that were a hundred feet apart, everything else was pretty much smooth. Sooner she was speaking a little Filipino and I was speaking a little English and we understood each other. The ragged shirt and rubber slippers eventually matched the lacy dress and shiny shoes. My wooden soldier became her doll’s knight-in-shining-armor as I became hers. Her parents, unknowing that the bond between the two of us is getting stronger, began to dislike me lesser.

After a few years, her parents finally conceded and accepted the connection of our souls. They sponsored my school, which I initially refused. But I then realized that they love their daughter probably more than I do and that might be the reason they’re willing to give anything to make her happy. We then signed a contract not to get married before the both of us finished school and have stable jobs. Right after graduation, I worked for a decent company while she became an entrepreneur. We were young then so we took our time. I began helping my parents with their finances and sent my brother Joaquin to school. He was smarter than I was and finished with flying colors.

The day we said our vows was one of the happiest days of my life. Although I didn’t think that I deserved it, her love did not fade. Everything seemed to fall into place and our wedding day was the beginning of happy ever after. Each time we made love, our bond became stronger. The birth of our twin sons paved way to a much happier me. I saw how hard it was for her to bear the pain of pregnancy and giving birth, and I loved her more for that. We became pretty good parents and watched our kids grow up. I spent time with my kids, teaching them how to be like me: someone strong and will-powered. But I didn’t realize how consumed I was of being a father that I began drifting away from being a husband.
I tried my best to provide for my family, asked Her to close her business, oblivious of cutting her wings. I became occupied with my job and promotions became successive. Power was in my hands and I knew I can do everything. But a little power was not enough. I hungered for more. I smiled when I thought about the little boy whose happiness used to lie in drinking a bottle of soda and playing king with his queen. When success was finally mine, joy and satiation seemed to be elusive. Engulfed with success, I became distant to her and our sons. I never told her I loved her anymore. I never looked at her eyes when we made love. Each night became an obligation and each day a responsibility. I began hearing complaints and whining but all of them I ignored. Arguments became inevitable and sacrifices were forgotten. It did not occur to me that while I was losing my wife, I was also losing my best friend. With no one to talk to, I started consulting my peer and they began to take control of me. Every night became Saturday. The weekends were not spent with my family and I began getting home late. I even had one-night affairs which she was unconscious about, or so I thought. I figured as long as I put something on the table, I was a good husband and father.

Pride hindered me from going after her when she decided to leave, tagging our sons along. But the days went longer and the nights darker. It’s been a long time when I was last alone, and it was really scary. Again, like the stinky little boy, I began cleaning myself for her, escaping from the selfishness that was disguised as dirt. I planned of humbling myself and make amends, hoping she would take me back. For the longest time I was able to see her wings again in my mind; as I felt miserable for cutting them off. I imagined us being happier than before when the love that was kept under once again surfaced. But it did not happen.

It was her birthday and our tenth wedding anniversary, so I bought flowers and a ring. I will ask her to marry me again. It was a long drive from the city to San Ignacio, where they were staying for the meantime. I surmised I will be able to get there early afternoon but traffic did not allow me to. I was informed that they were by the beach, so I went there in hurry for the sun will set soon. I was so excited thinking I would see my family again; it did not compare to riding a car, or buying a loaf of bread and soda. So consumed in my thoughts, I didn’t notice the commotion going on. I circled round the beach huts in search for them but they were nowhere to be found. Finally, I decided to I approach a frantic crowd gathered by the shore. When I got nearer, I heard somebody say two boys were thrown from a boat by a huge wave and they were drowning. My heart pulsated like it never did before. I immediately jumped into the water, throwing away the flowers and the ring. There were more than five people trying to find my sons, including Her. A man found one of the twins and I found the other. We took them to the shore and I felt so relieved that they were alive and safe. I looked back to see their mother swim back when I saw another huge wave getting close. I run past the others to rescue her but it was too late. The wave gulped her down like the whale that swallowed Jonah. After the wave subsided, I leaped towards her, caught her arms, and took her back to shore. I tried to revive her, but again, it was too late. Her body rested in my arms, lifeless and cold. My boys and I were crying though we did not understand our loss. All I knew was I will never forgive myself. The three of us felt like lost sheep that lost our shepherd.

--------

Indeed it is unwise for one to go out on his special day. Though I met her on my birthday, I lost her on hers. My bad luck turned into good and hers turned into my sorrow. Since then, there was not a day that I did not torment myself for what have happened. I drowned myself in the what-ifs and if-I-had-only’s. I became a sheep trying to be a shepherd to my sons, but I know I have not succeeded. Now that my angel has real wings and there was no other name for heaven, I’ve never felt more scoured with soot. I was once again the filthy little boy who feared of taking a bath.

After five years of getting by, my boys are now fine young men. Still, I’m walking past this beach that took my life, and every scene flashed before my eyes, like a tragic play. Each time I watched, I desired to alter how it ends. But no matter how I try, it does in the same way; her lifeless body in my arms, salted by the sea and by my eyes.

I cursed myself for taking her life while she was still breathing. I cursed the sand for staying there and doing nothing. I cursed the waves for taking her life. I cursed the sea for blinding her eyes and not showing her the way. I blamed the sun who abandoned her. For in their eyes each step we took did not matter, and the laughter and tears did not mean a thing. They just did what they were created for, provide a home ONLY to the creatures of the water and give warmth ONLY to those who are willing to live…

My Psalm

2011-04-04T09:00:00.000-07:00

You are the luminance
And ever potent salvation
Rescuing my heart
In breathing forlorn

With the glory of your power
The beginning forever holds
With the beauty of your perfection
The end has not been foretold

You have healed those who are sick
Saved those who have sinned
Lifted me from sorrow
Been present in the wind

Father hear me pray
Heed my praiseful psalm
My joy in your presence
My lips on your alms

I am a confidant
That your love is divine
And my life is yours
Let thy will be mine

Though this is the first
This will not be the last
That my work will be offered
My die has been cast

This ode I will share
To the ones who believe
And will thoroughly be given
To hearts that can't conceive

So father lead the way
Let your hands write this song
So that everyone will know
There you were all along...

Horror Story

2010-05-16T03:09:00.000-07:00

SCENARIO: Isang gabi, nakainom ka at ang crush mo at sabay kayong nagsettle sa sofa ng kaibigan. Sa sobrang kalasingan nyong dalawa, hindi mo napigilan at ayun, umakto kang kikiss mo sya. Tinakpan nya ang bibig nya at napahiya ka.Nang ilalayo mo na ang mukha mo, biglang nagbago ang isip nya at ikaw naman ang kiniss nya. Langit na sana pero naisip mo na hindi siya malaya. Pagkatapos nito, para sa kanya ay parang walang nangyari.

DILEMMA: Papano mo papatunayan sa sarili mo na nangyari nga ang nangyari? Paano kung akala mo lang na nangyari ang lahat pero hindi pala? Paano mo ishe-share sa isang kaibigan ang ganun kagandang experience kung hindi ka sigurado na nangyari ito? Ang dami nang tumatakbo sa utak mo, nakakalito. Walang pruweba, sayang ang istorya.

MOMENT OF TRUTH: Eto ang matindi, tinitingnan ka na ng lahat na para bang may alam sila sa nangyari. Naisip mo, "may pinagkwentuhan ba sya?" Pero habang nabwibwisit ka sa pagiging kiss ang tell nya pero natuwa ka naman at totoo pala ang nangyari, naganap naman ang pinakamasaklap sa lahat. Nagising ka. At pesteng peste ka dahil pagtingin mo sa paligid mo, hindi naman pala gabi in the first place. Tinanghali ka ng gising kasi Linggo, walang pasok at hindi ka gumimik kagabi dahil wala kang pera. O, di ba ang saya.

Out of My Head

2010-04-25T21:05:00.000-07:00

I get up in the morning
Tired of wakin'
Without getting much of sleep

Your smile I'm awaitin'
Your face that I'm achin'
Your love, elusive it seems

Oh I'm tired of waitin' for you
Oh I know now what to do

Refrain:
I'm gonna get you out of my head
Out my life, out of my reach
Cause you made me feel like
The air that you breathe
That you never touch and you never see

You're not existin'
My head ain't twistin'
And you do not deserve me

Your smile ain't somethin'
Your face ain't glowin'
Your love means nothing to me

Oh I gotta stop waitin' for you
And oh I'm doing what I should do

Repeat Refrain

Bridge:
I'm breaking to deep
I'm talking in sleep
I'm living the dead
Can't get you out of my head

No, I can't get you out of my head
Out my life, out of my reach
Though you never touch and you never see me
Just let me be
The air that you must breathe

The air that you must breathe
--My first song

Babae

2010-03-18T21:35:00.000-07:00

Kung mahahanap mo ako
Ikaw ay pinagpala
Sapagkat hindi mangyayari
Na ikaw ay makaunawa

Ang katahimikan ay hindi nangangahulugan

Na ako ay sumusuko

At ang matatalas na salita gayundin

Ay hindi nangangailangan ng pag-amo

Itinataboy kita

Ngunit ayokong ikaw ay lumisan

Lumuluha ako

Kahit ako'y hindi nasasaktan

Sinasabi kong wala akong pakialam

Kahit sasabog ang aking damdamin

Wag mo akong intindihin

Ngunit ako'y arugain

Kung ako'y hindi ganito
Sa akin ikaw ay walang halaga
Kung ako'y hindi ganito
Kasarian ay kabaligtaran

Ngunit sa kahit anung salita

Hindi mo pa rin mawawari

Hindi mo pa rin maaarok

Sapagkat ang bagay na kapos

Ay hindi kailanman sasapat

At ako'y ganito
Hanggang kamatayan

---para sa kapwa ko mga babae na umiiyak sa telenovela at madramang pelikula

Capulet

2010-03-08T04:19:00.000-08:00

You are my Maria
The moonbeam that my hands cannot hold
My knight in shining armor
Whose princess is not foretold

You are the Excalibur
When I was not the Arthur
You are Marius
And I was Eponine

You are my Heathcliff
"Chance" was never your word
My scarlet letter
Was done with your sword

I tried to find you
But I myself was lost
I tried to reach you
But it was I who hurt the most

For you are my Bella
But then I was Jacob

So seek you, I will not do

Though you will always be my Montague

ADIEU

2009-06-25T21:25:00.000-07:00

AS I WATCHED YOU
GO PAST THROUGH THE DOOR
AFTER A FIGHT LONGER THAN THE EVENING
LONGER THAN LIFE ITSELF

I STRIVED FOR THE TEARS NOT TO FALL
YET OUT OF ANGER IT DID
BUT THOUGH MY EYES WAIL
MY HEART NEVER WADE

A DULL PENCIL IS SHARPER THAN A KNIFE
AS WORDS IS DAGGER TO THE SOUL
SO MUCH FOR BEING SELFLESS
A GRIN BEHIND YOUR GOODBYE

I HAVE LESS TO PONDER
NOT A THING TO WONDER
THE TASTE OF FREEDOM
IS SWEETER THAN REVENGE;

ONE OF THE FEW LESSONS
I HAVE INDEED LEARNED;
IF LOVE IS ABSENT
APATHY IS THERE INSTEAD OF HATE

SO AFTER A FIGHT LONGER THAN LIFE ITSELF
I GATHERED MY BREATH
FOR I REGAINED MY LIFE
THE MOMENT YOU SAID FAREWELL…

--- for weng

Monochrome

2008-09-02T18:21:00.001-07:00

Everyday is the same color
Every moment is the same shade
The burden of doing everything alone
Still people around keeps pushing you down

i hate to be so damned depressed.
oh but i am
my nine -hour day just isn't working my four -hour night isn't right

i want to be freed from my routines
empty my mind for a while
and fly until the air presses my solitude. ..

Thy Vow

2008-09-01T02:39:00.000-07:00

Nay, thou shan't cause me pain
Thou shan't cause me sorrow
I plead on my knees
Lead me not into this

Thy darkness surrounds me
And I can see nothing
Twain hearts that vow
And my eyne remain bestowed with tears

Commit thy sin
Wear thy enormous grin
Set forth thy music
Set forth mineth agony

For my wish is a retaliation
And my prayers revenge
So capture a moonbeam
Or thou shall scream...

breakup

2008-04-23T00:41:00.001-07:00

quite closed

2008-04-07T23:50:00.000-07:00

i want them closed
so i would not see
i want them closed
so i would not hear

i want it closed
so i would not feel
i want it closed
so i would not fear

the doors have all been bunged
but i kept an open window
to breathe the brush of the wind
to savor the mist of the eve

the chimes never tinged
yet there you stood
and a moment thereafter,
gone too soon

not a wink, nor a blink
with trembling knees and panting heart
i locked the window
never mind the wind nor the evening

indeed i had them quite closed
but i still saw
i still heard, i still felt
and now i'm more scared...

poison

2008-04-04T01:44:00.000-07:00

five minutes
and its time to go
counted all the minutes
been anxious to leave

cant breathe under water
cant swim to the shore
and i'm tired of waiting
of when am i going to surface

hundred miles of air
hundred tons of fare
for a million messages
for a million words

till then i'm poisoned
like when the flower touches my skin
the rashes would kill
i know it will

---for ivy

AWAY

2008-04-02T21:25:00.000-07:00

Not a coincidence
There must be a reason..

To hear your laughter
To feel your fears
To see your face
To taste your tears

To freshen my mind
To comfort my soul
To attest my guilt
To deter my fate

But you are away
Oceans away
And there's not much to do
But stand here waiting

And imagine your laughter
Embrace my fears
Picture your face
And taste my tears